It is so easy to lose hope. I think we have all done it at one point or another in our lives. We get overwhelmed with the "junk" that is going on all around us and we just don't see a way out. I've recently been corresponding with someone who reminded me of this part of my journey, so I thought I'd share it here in case it could help someone else.
I remember being ready to just give up because I had been "attacked", ignored, or encouraged to do something that I thought would be morally wrong by the "spiritual authorities" in my life. It seemed that they were more interested in protecting those that had hurt me than in seeing the truth revealed and crimes punished. If that was what "Christianity" was (judging, nasty, in my face, outright lying about me, protecting criminals, etc...) and if that's how God was (they represent Him right?), then I was done!!! I know I'm not alone in this!
I'm so thankful that I have been able to see who the real God is! The God I serve is not one that can be manipulated into loving me more by what I do or don't do, what I listen to, how often I go to church, what I wear, what version of the Bible I read, etc... He loves me simply because I exist! I went into a deep period of searching to see who God really is because I had to know. Jeremiah 29:13 promises that if we seek for God we will find Him. What I found and really continue to find is that I am loved, valued, and treasured simply because I exist. God isn't a God who comes judging when we mess up, but a God who seeks to lovingly restore (there are so many examples of this in the Bible).
Don't lose hope in God because of what church leaders or other "Christians" have done or said. Not all Christians are this way, and not everyone who claims to be a "Christian" really is. Contrary to what you might have heard no one church has absolute truth while everyone else is wrong. Do some searching. Search for who God is yourself, and look at other churches. I was amazed by how freeing this was for our family! Most of all don't give up hope because of your pain, there is joy on the other side!