Thursday, May 24, 2012


Growing up I always heard that God was like a father to us. During this kind of teaching verses like

Hebrews 12:6-8

 would be used to talk about how God would punish us and "scourge" us like our father did if He really loved us. Because of these kind of teachings and the abuse I endured from my step-father, I began to believe that God was something He really is not. For years I believed that God was just waiting for me to screw up so that He could punish me. I heard countless sermon illustrations about someone who had left the church and was "in the world" or in an "apostate" church that God "took home to be with Him" early in life so that the person could no longer "harm the name or image of Christ". I was afraid of this God and "served" out of fear rather than out of love for who He is and what He had done.
Eventually there came a point where I decided that I needed to know who God really is, because if He is what I grew up knowing I was done, but if God was the kind of God that I was learning about during our journey out of fundamentalism then I wanted to build a relationship with Him. The more I have searched the more I have found what I knew to be false. God promises that the more we seek Him the more we will find Him!

Jeremiah 29:13

 Over the last 2 1/2 years I have been earnestly seeking to find out who God really is and He has opened my eyes in amazing ways! Now when I think about God as a father instead of dwelling on my early experiences I think on the amazing father my husband is to our kids. He loves them, and even when he corrects them he isn't mean, he lovingly corrects them for their good to help them learn what is right! If my husband, who isn't perfect can be such a good and loving father to our children, how much more of a good and loving father is God to us? If we stop and think about God's character it is consistently loving. From the beginning in the Garden of Eden, He not only came to Adam and Eve seeking to draw them to repentance, He lovingly forgave even though there were consequences. God could have chosen to kill them and start over with new humans, instead His plan was to eventually send His Son to die for all of us. The God I have come to know, love and worship is not a vengeful God, but a God of love, mercy, forgiveness, and healing!


  1. Glad you find the real God. That is such a tough thing to do growing up in fundamentalism. Praying my children will too. Enjoying your blog, Tina

  2. I have so much respect for you. Thank you for sharing your heart.