Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Trial 2 Part 1

In many ways this trial was completely different, and much harder than the other trial was. I think in many ways it can be much more emotionally difficult when you are testifying against an abuser who is either a part of your family, or has very close ties to your family.

In this trial I testified against my step father who is still married to my mother. While his actions are no less heinous, and in fact may be even more heinous than those of Ernie Willis in some ways, I felt conflicting feelings about being willing to cooperate with this investigation. The knowledge that I was speaking truth didn't make it any easier emotionally. While I have no attachment whatsoever to Daniel, he is still married to my mother. And even though she refuses to have any contact with me because she thinks I have been wrong to testify against my abusers, I will still always love her.

For me the decision to cooperate with law enforcement was not based on any kind of anger, resentment, or desire for revenge. I ultimately decided to cooperate because I know the stats about those who re-offend. I've researched enough to know that most people who would hurt a child would hurt many and not just one. With this knowledge I felt it was important to protect other potential victims from the men who abused me.

Ultimately the choice to report or to cooperate with law enforcement has to be the choice of the victim. The legal process is exhausting, long, unfair to victims, and often traumatizing. Getting justice in this country is far from easy. If I hadn't been fully convinced that this was the right thing to do, I may have given up long ago.


  1. You're very brave and honorable! You're doing the right thing!

  2. This must have been excruciating. Doing the right thing is often the most painful. Thank you for saving what would have been his future victims.

  3. Thanks for all your honest, heartfelt posts. I have read every one, but never commented before. I also grew up in an abusive home, and my parents also will not have contact with me. It is very painful, especially the rejection from my mother. I am so glad that God brought you healing and brought you out of fundamentalism just as He did for me. I also have a special needs child and feel for your struggles with your daughter. Please keep writing. It always encourages me and I'm sure it helps many others!