Wednesday, January 21, 2015

If you could see my heart...

Sometimes it is easy when you hear a news story to pick apart a person in that story whether it be a person who committed a crime or someone who made a choice you don't agree with. The internet has become a place where people are not afraid to very publicly share their opinions. This can be both good and bad! I know my story has been very public (more so than I would have liked), and that has caused people to be very opinionated about me (and the other players in my story). Far too often I see people ascribing feelings and motives to me that aren't mine in any way. While I know I should let these things roll off my back, it is hard! So I thought I'd write a few things that I would like people to know about me.

If you could see my heart:

~ You would see no hatred or bitterness for any of those who have wronged me, only prayers for them to see the error of their ways so they don't hurt others in the same way.

~ You would see someone who would rather not have my story public, but someone who is amazed at what God has done because it has been so public.

~ You would see someone who grieved going through the trial process and only did it because it was the right thing to do so other potential victims could be protected.

~ You would see I share my story not for pity or notoriety, but to bring awareness so others can be protected from the trauma I went through.

~ You would see I am passionate about protecting children!

~ You would see my desire to help those who have been through trauma to see that there is always hope!

~ You would see my love for God and my sadness for how people (often in church leadership) have hurt others in the "name of God".

~ You would see someone who has experienced NO financial gain, rather suffered extensive loss through this painful process, but would chose to do it again in spite of the hardship.

~ You would see that for me if even one child has been protected, or one survivor given hope because of my story than it has been worth it for me!


  1. I see all this and so much more.

    I see someone who spends countless hours on the phone and email talking with people because you're one of their only lifelines to someone who will listen and understand without judging them.

    I see someone who spends numerous hours in person talking, praying, and comforting someone who is hurting and wishing you had time to do more.

    I see someone who's heart has been broken by friends and loved ones who've turned their backs on her but she still wishes for a relationship with them.

    I see someone who is being used by God to make a difference in as many lives as God brings into her life.

    I have always seen my wife as someone that God was going to use greatly to help those hurting from abuse. I never would have imagined what has happened over the past five years but I wouldn't change it.

    I imagine a future of endless possibilities of God using Tina to change the lives of many because she was willing to be a voice for change.

    I see a woman with a heart for doing what's right, no matter the cost.

    I see a woman who loves God and wants to serve Him by being a light to those hiding in the darkness of abuse and showing them that there is HOPE.

  2. I see someone who, despite enduring abuse from those who were supposed to be your God appointed protectors, never let your faith grow cold. I see a sincere follower of Jesus Christ. Someone who has been able to separate the wrong your family and church family did to you from the vast unchanging love of God. Almost impossibly, I see someone who isn't bitter at the past… even though it still hurts.. I see someone God can and has used to demonstrate His attributes. Your gracious bravery is absolutely beautiful!

  3. You have helped me and my family more than you will ever know. Your beautiful spirit has been a light in this very dark world. Thank you so much!!!!

  4. Amazing post Tim. Thank you for sharing your heart Tina. You are so loved!

  5. This is because, Tina, that you never were ever the wrong one... the bad one. You were and are the woman of grace.

  6. I recently found your blog. You can count me as one survivor who is finding hope. I've been reading through all your posts. I only started my journey towards healing in the last year. I have found hope at times in the words you have written. Hope seems fleeting most of the time, but you are right, a glimpse is sometimes all I need to not give up. Thank you for your openness, your honesty, your courage. Thank you.