Sunday, May 1, 2016

When Mother's Day Hurts...

I HATE Mother's Day. There, I said it. I have hated it for years. I go through the motions and act like everything is great for my children, but deep down I hate it.

For years a HUGE part of my heart was missing because I didn't have contact with my oldest daughter. I'm so grateful to be able to have her back in my life! I will admit that this was part of why I disliked Mother's Day, but it was only a very small portion.

Here's the real conundrum for me. My own mother. I love her deeply, and have done what I can to love and protect her. Yet it seems she doesn't return that love. One of the 10 commandments in the Bible is to honor your father and mother. My big question is HOW? How do you show honor to someone who has disowned you because of your stand to protect your children? How do you show honor to someone who stands by the person who brutally abused you as a child? How do you show honor to someone who wants no part in your life?

So for me, Mother's Day is brutal. I love and cherish my children and am beyond grateful for them, but there is still a big hole that may never be filled.  I guess what I need to do is focus on being the best mother I can be for my children. I hope and pray that God will help me be the best mother I can for my own children, and that my children will never have a reason to question my love for them.

This week I will be striving to remember that God can be and is both a mother and father to the parentless. I'm meditating on Psalm 27:10 "When my father and mother forsake me the Lord will take me in". God has always been faithful and I know He will continue to be through the tough days!

1 comment:

  1. I am sorry I did not see this post until today. I am so sorry that your own mother is not wanting to be a part of your life. How wonderful that you can focus instead on being the mother you never had. What a selfless thing to do. I love reading your posts, but am usually too shy to comment! I hope you will continue to blog as the Lord leads you to. I come from a similar background of abuse within a dysfunctional family in the IFB church and like you, married a supportive husband who is a strong Christian and is a true example of a leader. Together, with God's help, we're trying to raise our kids in a loving Christian home that is very different than the one I grew up in. I also have no contact with my parents by their choice. It's really hard sometimes, but I know the Lord will help us as we continue to trust in Him.