Bitterness ~ An accusation that is often used to silence a victim, or to discredit what they have to say so that no one else will pay attention.
I believe that this accusation is thrown around so frequently that we have lost sight of what bitterness really is. Webster defines bitterness as a deep seated ill will. Some synonyms given are animosity and antagonism. Please take notice that the synonyms are NOT anger, justice seeking, frustration, hurt, or removing oneself from a potentially dangerous situation!!
Can bitterness come from deep pain and how you choose to deal with deep pain, yes. BUT, hurt, anger, grief, tears, frustration, etc are all a part of the healing process. It is very normal and natural to have a myriad of emotions when you are deeply hurt. Working through these emotions is part of how most people heal over time. Bitterness comes when you choose to hold on to these emotions and let them consume your entire being.
If you are a victim please don't let people discourage you from working through the emotions and pain that you have gone through by throwing out this accusation! Working through the pain is how you keep from holding it all in and becoming bitter. Choosing to distance yourself from your abuser and cut off contact with them is WISE it does not indicate wrong doing on your part.
To those who throw out this accusation to silence victims: SHAME ON YOU! Instead of taking the easy way out, why don't you choose to love as Jesus did!