Wednesday, June 3, 2015

What matters most

There are many times I question my abilities as a mother, and feel like I fall so very short. My kids are overall pretty good kids, but they fight like crazy. They often whine when asked to do something, and aren't afraid to voice their opinion and question me. I think that allowing our children to ask questions is important so we can teach them the why behind what we say. I don't want robots, but at times I feel like a failure because of how disrespectful they come across. (For the record I do think that learning appropriate tone is a process.)

As I was sitting back and contemplating my mothering skills (or lack thereof), I began to think of what the most important things I would have wanted from or remember about my own mother now that I'm an adult. There were 3 things that stuck out to me in my contemplation...

1. Time ~ I wish my mother had spent more time with me. In the end I didn't care so much about gifts and stuff, but I really wish she had spent more quality time with me. 

2. Support and Belief.~ I wish that when I was a child my mother would have believed me and supported me not only in the big things, but also in the day to day stuff of life.

3. Putting your Child's needs and safety above your own comfort. ~ There are so many times that I wish my mother had loved us enough to protect us from the monster that hurt us so badly rather than thinking of her own desires. 

As I sit back and look at the things that I would have valued most and what I felt that I needed as a child it changes my perspective of how I'm doing as a mother. I am not perfect, and have a very long way to go, but I know my children are loved, valued, supported, believed, and I would do anything I could to protect them. We make it a point to take both family time and time with the kids by themselves so they know we want to be with them. I hope these things mean as much to my children as they would have to me. 


  1. Thanks for sharing this. It sure does make for a process when we allow our kids to question, but I think it'll be worth it in the end because they will know we actually respect what they have to say, even when we must disagree. I appreciate your perspective-have struggled with the same! Long term I hope for a relationship with my kids and not because I say so. ;) I'm sorry to hear the hurt you've had but I believe you are doing right by your kids!! Hugs,
    Melody Young

  2. Beautifully written.