Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Frustration and Discouragement

I admit it...I'm frustrated and discouraged. I'm tired and ready for answers. I know God can heal my baby girl, and don't understand why He hasn't chosen to do so yet. I don't understand how one child can have so many rare things going on in their little body. I know there has to be a root cause for all of the stuff my little girl is going through, but we haven't been able to find it so far...I hate seeing her struggle to breathe, and I'm so tired and wish she could sleep through the night. The medical bills continue to pile up, and although it's neat to see how God provides I'm really tired of fighting with the insurance company to cover what she needs, and the stack of to be paid can be discouraging.

In the last few days we have found that on top of all her other medical issues she is aspirating food particles which are turning into fat inside her lungs (this only serves to complicate her breathing issues). She also needs IVIG treatments which our insurance company is notorious for denying. We are hoping she will get them approved and that she can do the Subq (we can do it from home) because if not it means that we have to get a port put in her chest so they can access her veins when we go to the hospital for treatments. She is also getting sick again and that means she is sleeping even worse than normal (she has only been off antibiotics about a week). As a mom it is really hard to see your child suffer. I just want her to be well!

It's been quite a while since I have been this discouraged. I feel like I'm once again asking God what He is doing. I know He has us in the palm of His hand and that everything is going to work out, I just need to be patient (not one of my better qualities). Please join me in praying for my little girl! We need favor with the insurance company so she can get the treatment that she needs! We need answers on how to help her! We need to find the root cause of what is going on! I really desire to see complete healing in her little body and I KNOW that God can do it!


  1. My heart breaks for you. Praying for complete healing for Aria. Praying for strength,patience and peace for you. You are such a strong woman of faith, and are enduring so much! Praying and believing that one day soon God will use all of this for His glory, and it will not seem like this journey has been in vain. Love you girl, keep the faith!

  2. aw tina I can't imagine what you're going through :(. I hate that your little girl is struggling so much and that you can't find answers. I'm praying for answers and peace for you and your family. love you! ♥

  3. Tina, my heart is weeping with you. We have been and will continue to pray for healing for Aria and for strength for you and Tim. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I am SO thankful that we have a God you can run to! Praying that He wraps His arms around you today and makes His presence known in a very special way.

  4. still hurts. The waiting is hard.

    Hanging on to this:

    I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
    the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed.
    I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
    the feeling of hitting the bottom.
    But there’s one other thing I remember,
    and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

    God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
    his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
    They’re created new every morning.
    How great your faithfulness!
    I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
    He’s all I’ve got left.

    God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
    to the woman who diligently seeks.
    It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
    quietly hope for help from God.
    It’s a good thing when you’re young
    to stick it out through the hard times.

    When life is heavy and hard to take,
    go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
    Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
    Wait for hope to appear.
    Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
    The “worst” is never the worst.
    Why? Because the Master won’t ever
    walk out and fail to return.
    If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
    His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
    He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
    in throwing roadblocks in the way:

    Lamentations 3 MSG

  5. My heart goes for you. I happened to read this from South Korea.I will pray for you and your precious little girl. Though we don't see His hands, let us trust His goodness. Actually, I've been also frustrated due to some problems I have. As praying and waiting for His answer on my prayer, I will be praying for you too!