Parenting is the hardest job I have ever had, that said, I wouldn't trade it for the world! I love my children and want so much for them! My husband and I seek to be the very best parents that we can be to our kids, and to love and protect them. We want to show them unconditional love and teach them what is right and why we do what we do.
It seems like lately we have had so many different conversations with our kids about how and why we do things differently than our parents did. I think it is natural for them to have some curiosity about how we grew up, but we are seeking to be really careful about the details we share with them at this point. It is really hard to find a balance at times between satisfying their curiosity and giving only age appropriate details.
There are many things we do differently than our parents did. Some of the biggest things include how we choose to discipline, allowing our children to respectfully ask us "why", the level of responsibility that they have around the house, and the concept that the parent is always right. We really feel like it is our job as parents to teach our children so many things, and if we expect our children to do something just because we said so that doesn't really teach them anything. Giving them the ability to ask why gives us the opportunity to explain why we said something or have a particular rule. And I think kids should be kids, so while they do have age appropriate chores (my 4 year old puts away the cutting boards and measuring cups from the dishwasher) they are allowed to be kids and not "miniature adults". One of the things that bugged me growing up was that I was told by those in authority over me that no matter what the parent is always right. I DO NOT believe this to be true! Tim and I have both had to go to our children multiple times to ask their forgiveness for something we said or did. I think this is a much better example because everyone messes up from time to time.
I'm not saying that we do everything perfectly (I know we don't!). Our prayer is that we can be the best possible parents to our children, and that we continue to learn and grow with them. We want our children to grow up to be strong people who know that they are loved unconditionally, love God, and can make good choices in life. We pray for our children regularly, and seek to help them in any way we can.
I love this post! My kids have been asking some questions recently as well about their grandparents. It's as if they have suddenly realized that we grew up in a far different environment than they are in and they are very curious about it. It has been a little tricky to know what to tell them. Recently, one asked if their grandfather loved his kids when we were growing up. Ummmm... Didn't know how to answer that one. We do raise our children far differently than we were raised. I love being able to see them free to have feelings without guilt, have questions that we do our best to answer, see that we make mistakes, know that they are loved unconditionally, etc.
ReplyDeleteTina, thank you for your blog. It is a huge source of encouragement to me!