Struggles...

As we approach Friday's surgery I can feel the tension in the house rising. Tim and I are really at peace, but the two older kids are scared for their baby sister (who isn't scared at all), and I think the thought of this surgery is causing fear in their little hearts.

The other day our son hugged his little sister and asked her if she was scared about the surgery. He is really more concerned than she is... She told me she plans on asking for a popsicle and juice box when she wakes up from surgery. I think she thinks it is going to be just like the other ones she has had.

Our oldest daughter came in to snuggle with me this morning and we were talking. She thinks that it isn't fair that her baby sister is getting so much attention. She told me it isn't fair that her sister gets more treats than she does (we sometimes resort to incentives to get meds down). So the oldest daughter and I had a long conversation this morning where I again tried to explain why we do what we do. I also tried to remind her of the times recently that I have taken her out by herself and tried to spend time with just her. I think she is scared and doesn't quite know how to express it.

These are the times in life that it is hard to be a mom. I'm just sad that I don't know how to best help my kids get through their fear, and help them to feel like I'm being fair to all of them. I'm thankful that God promises wisdom if we ask for it, so that is what I have been doing. I'm just praying that God will bring a peace into their little minds and help them to know that their baby sister is going to be ok. Nothing I say to them seems to help at this point, so I'm just trusting that God will comfort them and bring peace to their minds as I try to give them as much love and confidence as I can...