Sovereign

Last week was so tough for us! Our youngest daughter had to endure yet another yucky test. This one didn't go very smoothly...to make a very long story short she went into hysteria and had to be sedated. Honestly, I don't blame her! I think I would have a hard time having a tube put down my nose all the way to my belly and then having it taped to my face only to find out it wasn't placed properly so they had to remove the tape pull the tube out a little and then re-tape. Poor girl! After we were able to get her calmed down I was able to talk her through the rest and she really did well with the 24 hour time period we had to leave it in. For that I am truly grateful!

Now, we wait... The waiting is the worst part. The results determine if they want her to have yet ANOTHER major surgery. I really struggle with this because at 5 years old she has already been through so much and I just want her to be well! I came across this song from one of my favorite artists and it really challenged me and reminded me that no matter what comes my way I can trust God. Hope you enjoy the song and it is as helpful to you as it has been to me!

Precious Reminder!

     This song really struck a chord with me because so much is affected by how we think about ourselves... When we are in Christ we are new we are new, redeemed, treasured, loved, and so many more things. I think that if you like me have ever berated yourself this song could be encouraging to you as it has been to me. Just a really good reminder!

Even if...

Last night I had an awakening that I wasn't expecting. Our youngest daughter has been through so much medically, and unfortunately it isn't over. That said, I had often told myself that she was too little to understand, and hopefully she would be better before she would ever understand and that she would never even remember all the meds, hospitalizations, and surgeries. That is simply not the case. Last night when we were doing her meds she looked at me and said "Mommy, why did Dr. P. change my meds again? What happens if it doesn't work? What is he going to do next?"

I was completely shocked. It brought tears to my eyes, but also a realization that we need to be more open with her and start talking to her about the medical stuff that is going on. She obviously understands WAY more than we thought she did. It also means that it is a good time to teach her so much.

As I was telling Grandma about this story today a song came on the radio and God really used it to show me how my perspective needs to change again... THIS is what I need to be teaching my daughter...Even if the healing doesn't come, and life falls apart, You are God, You are good, forever Faithful One~!

Lessons from kids

New Beginnings

I think if you know me or have read very much of my blog you know that I believe in Jesus and am so very grateful for all He has done in my life. As a Christian today I along with my family celebrated Easter. I love Easter, and the hope that it brings!

Here's the thing about Easter... Even if you don't believe in Jesus and that he came to die and rose again to save us I think that you could agree that Easter is a time for new beginnings. Typically Easter comes at the beginning of Spring and we can see the new flowers coming out and new life in the plant and animal world.

I love the thought of new beginnings! Sometimes we as humans mess things up in a big way, or we can simply feel like life is out of control. Sometimes the thought of a fresh start, or a new beginning can be overwhelming, but it can also be the thing that gives us just that glimmer of hope we so desperately need!

So, I would encourage you that if you are in the place where you feel like you desperately need a new beginning, start fresh today! Determine that today you are going to start to at least change how you think! It's amazing how you really become what you dwell on. Choose to think on what is true, right, and lovely! Something that simple could prove to be the very thing you need for that new beginning!

Trust

I've been thinking a lot about trust lately. As kids we typically easily trust, that is until that trust has been broken. If your trust has been violated in one way or another it becomes very hard to trust again. The more we are hurt by having our trust betrayed the more we put up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt again. I know...I've been there...I shut people out of my life and out of my darkest pain for years.

As I was sewing my girl's Easter dresses something occurred to me. I don't trust all the rough edges to not become frayed and nasty and ugly looking, and maybe even ultimately make the whole thing come apart after I have washed it a few times, so I cover them, I hide them. I want the inside of the dress to look neat and pretty too...I want there to not be any sort of falling apart. I think we do this in our own lives too. Especially those of us who have been hurt. We hide away any of the "yucky" stuff so that it can't be seen because surely if it is hidden it can't hurt us right? If no one can see it then it can't possibly be there right? We really can't trust anyone to not hurt us again so we dare not reveal our innermost secrets. We may not consciously think those things, but I know I have consciously thought that I have to hide it all because if people knew the "hurt" that was inside they would hate me.

Ultimately it can be very hard to trust, especially for those who have been deeply wounded. But I don't believe that we can truly start to heal unless we find someone who is "safe" to trust. Until we open the deepest, darkest places in our lives and allow the light to shine in we won't truly find healing. There is someone who is worthy of our trust. When everyone else had failed me, God was still there! He promises to never leave us. We can trust and not be afraid, we can pour out our hearts before Him, we can trust that He won't forsake us. As hard as the step of starting to trust again and being willing to open up all the hurt, I can truly say on the other side it is worth it! God is worthy of our trust! The freedom and healing that can come when you allow yourself to trust God and maybe a certain friend or two is amazing, and so worth the risk and the fear that inherently comes with deciding to trust once again.

Renewed/Transferred Hope

I admit I have been quite discouraged lately. My youngest is struggling so badly health wise and spent most of her Spring break in the hospital. It seems like we are constantly getting bad news about her health every time we turn around. Her latest test results have left us dumbfounded and searching for answers.

I met with a friend today who really had some great insight and helped to change my perspective! We talked about several things, my little one and my frustration mostly. Then we started discussing how I believe that God has called me to help victims of abuse know and believe that there is hope for freedom and healing. I truly believe with everything in me that there IS hope for these things! My friend lovingly pointed out that everything about me changed when I started talking about how I believe that there really is hope for healing and freedom for victims. This is because I am fully confident that God can do these things...

So, here comes the challenge in my life. I have to transfer that knowledge and that hope that God is fully able to heal and bring freedom over to the life of my little girl. I need to start believing in faith that that hope and that healing can be for her too. This is tough for me...I will freely admit it! As much as I desire to see her healed it has been such a long road with not much hope in sight that it becomes a real step of faith to believe these things for her. That said, I am making the choice today to believe that there IS hope for her! God can heal her little body and give her the freedom to be able to be a normal child! So, today I choose to dwell on who God is and His faithfulness in the past, and look forward to how He is going to do amazing things in her future!