Hard Job...Great Rewards!

Parenting is the hardest job I have ever had, that said, I wouldn't trade it for the world! I love my children and want so much for them! My husband and I seek to be the very best parents that we can be to our kids, and to love and protect them. We want to show them unconditional love and teach them what is right and why we do what we do.

It seems like lately we have had so many different conversations with our kids about how and why we do things differently than our parents did. I think it is natural for them to have some curiosity about how we grew up, but we are seeking to be really careful about the details we share with them at this point. It is really hard to find a balance at times between satisfying their curiosity and giving only age appropriate details.

There are many things we do differently than our parents did. Some of the biggest things include how we choose to discipline, allowing our children to respectfully ask us "why", the level of responsibility that they have around the house, and the concept that the parent is always right. We really feel like it is our job as parents to teach our children so many things, and if we expect our children to do something just because we said so that doesn't really teach them anything. Giving them the ability to ask why gives us the opportunity to explain why we said something or have a particular rule. And I think kids should be kids, so while they do have age appropriate chores (my 4 year old puts away the cutting boards and measuring cups from the dishwasher) they are allowed to be kids and not "miniature adults". One of the things that bugged me growing up was that I was told by those in authority over me that no matter what the parent is always right. I DO NOT believe this to be true! Tim and I have both had to go to our children multiple times to ask their forgiveness for something we said or did. I think this is a much better example because everyone messes up from time to time.

I'm not saying that we do everything perfectly (I know we don't!). Our prayer is that we can be the best possible parents to our children, and that we continue to learn and grow with them. We want our children to grow up to be strong people who know that they are loved unconditionally, love God, and can make good choices in life. We pray for our children regularly, and seek to help them in any way we can.

Opening Up...

Growing up I was always taught that even if your life wasn't perfect you had to pretend like it was. While this may not have been directly spoken, it was taught via the way that other concepts were taught...(If you are worrying you aren't trusting God; Show the joy of the Lord on your face at all times no matter what is going on you need to smile; If the world sees problems in your life it will keep them from trusting Christ; Stop calling others to talk about your problems you are being a burden; You're exaggerating it isn't really that bad; and so many others) It was these kind of things that really caused me to internalize issues that were going on in my life. I quickly learned that if tears were visible at home I would be given a reason to cry, and if they were visible at church I would be cornered and badgered (even as an adult).

Even today I struggle to share my burdens and feelings with others (except in a general sense) even though I know I have friends I can call when I'm having a rough day. I will sometimes think about calling, and think, "No I don't want to be a burden", or "I know how busy they are and I don't want to bother them", or "I just don't want to be known as that person who is always struggling with something". The truth is I have friends who call me when they are struggling, and those thoughts never cross my mind. If this is true, and I know that I have friends who love me just as much as I love them then in my mind I know it has to be true that they don't mind me calling when I'm struggling either. To be completely honest I had one person in my life that I would call and talk and cry with at the drop of the hat and that was my Grandma. She has now passed away and I miss her so very much! Even thinking about the talks we shared brings tears to my eyes.

The truth is even the Bible tells us to help bear each other's burdens (Galatians 6:2). I think a lot of being willing to open up and share comes back to knowing you are loved unconditionally and are not being judged by how you feel or what is going on in your life. I'm so thankful to have found friends that are loving and non-judgmental! I'm working on being willing to open up and share my heart with them because I know they truly care! I'm also thankful that I have a God that I can run to when my heart is feeling weak, and have the assurance that He is there and that He cares! (Another favorite song that goes with this idea).

Rejection

As I sat in the hospital last weekend with my little princess I had lots of time to sit and think. So many thoughts crossed my mind during that time. One thing that really hit me as I snuggled my baby girl was that I don't know how any mother chooses to reject her children.

My mother has consistently chosen her perverted, mean, child sex-offending husband over her children, and now grandchildren. At times her choices have made me feel rejected, and not valuable. To be honest in the past it has bothered me so much that she would make that choice that I have spent hours wondering what was wrong with me if a mother would choose that kind of man over her own child.

Now as I look at this whole situation I can look at it through a different viewpoint. It really isn't a problem with me. It isn't something that I did wrong or said wrong or whatever that caused that rejection. It was something that she simply chose to do. I have found comfort in the truth that God loves me and has accepted me. (Romans 1:7; Ephesians 2:4; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4.) I'm also so grateful for the family and friends that have shown me unconditional love!


With these things in mind I chose not to dwell in the sting of rejection, but to dwell on the fact that I am loved and accepted. Rather than wishing I was loved by those who have chosen to reject me I choose to put my energy into loving those around me, and seeking to love and accept them just where they are in life.

Open Eyes

I heard this song recently and it really challenged me. At first I really thought of all the people that I know that needed to hear this song and think about what it was teaching...Then God opened my eyes, and showed me that there are areas that I need to apply this song to my life too. It took several times of listening to it before I felt like I could fully understand all it was saying. I hope you enjoy this song and are challenged by it as much as I am.

Post-Surgery Update

Surgery was this past Friday morning and everything went really well! The surgery itself only took about an hour and a half! This was best case scenario! She went straight from surgery to the Pediatric ICU. Overall, she has done amazingly well! She did have issues with narcotic pain killers dropping her oxygen levels really low, so we have had to just be on Tylenol and Advil around the clock. Once the narcotics were out of her system her oxygen levels stabilized and she was able to come home!  She did so well they allowed her to come home early on Father's Day! What a great present for my hubby!

Since home she has been doing well. Part of the problem with her is that she is so tough she thinks she can do everything already, and we are having a hard time keeping her down already! This morning I turned my back for a minute and she decided to jump off a counter and then cried for about 10 minutes because her head hurt so bad from it. The next several weeks will be challenging as we try to keep her calm!

We are already starting to see some benefits coming from the surgery!!! She has only had one coughing/vomiting episode since surgery! This is amazing because for the last several months this was happening multiple times a day.  We are going to visit her pulmonologist in a couple of weeks to start the process of weaning her off some of her daily meds! I'm excited and hopeful that this surgery will help her to be able to thrive!

We know that there is still a long road of recovery in front of us, but we are so thankful for how far God has brought our little girl so far! I just know that God must have amazing things for this little girl's life!

Surgery update

This is Laurie just doing a quick update for everyone from Tina.

Aria's surgery went well! Everything was exactly as the surgeon had hoped for and Aria is sleeping. Tim and Tina are well, relieved and thankful for your prayers. Please continue in prayer that Aria will have a fast and smooth recovery. God bless that sweet little girl!

Even the Little Things...

Tomorrow is the big day. Today I'm so thankful that God cares about each aspect of our lives. Last night we got a phone call and it seemed as though financial issues might postpone the surgery. (The hospital was wanting us to pay more up front than our insurance company said we would end up owing) Needless to say we were frustrated. Today after many phone calls we were able to get everything worked out. I'm so thankful I was able to talk to just the right people! I firmly believe that God has His hand on our family and that He is going to protect our little girl as she goes through this surgery in the morning! I'm grateful that God cares even about the "little things" in our lives!

I will be taking a few days off of blogging as I'm in the hospital with my little girl, but will try to update soon after she gets home. Thanks for all of your prayers! We appreciate it more than I can express!